Pai's Meticulous Analysis of History
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: A Pinky and the Brain episode parody! Pai talks about history to the aliens and the Mew Mews... but his friends and the Mew Mews would rather make fun of the lesson than pay attention!


Here's a little one-shot, song-fic that stars everyone's favorite emotionless alien, Pai! Also, a parody of a Pinky and the Brain short! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Outside the library, another battle was about to be wrapped up as the aliens, as usual, were defeated by the team of Mew Mews.

"RIBBON STRAWBERRY SURPRISE!" Mew Ichigo shouted as her Strawberry Bell emitted a light which, as usual, defeated the Chimara Anima (a combination of a wolf and cricket), and Masha inhaled the Mew Aqua.

Kish rolled his eyes a bit, then smirked. "Well, kitten, as usual, you got us."

Taruto, while upset, was looking around for Pai, only to see he wasn't next to him. "Uh, Kish, seen Pai anywhere?"

As soon as Taruto said that, Pai suddenly teleported back with the other aliens, looking at a book. Kish, noticing the book in Pai's hands, frowned as he said, "Wow, hypocrite, much?"

"Huh, what?" Pai blinked as he looked up. "Oh. The battle was done?"

"Pai, where were you?" Kish frowned.

"Well, excuse me, but SOME of us have to do research!" Pai said as he turned to the book.

Lettuce looked up at the book Pai was reading. "Is that a history book?"

"Yes, I'm reading up on your Earth's history..." Pai looked up at Lettuce.

"Oh, na no da! I love doing that! But I always forget to buff the chrome!" Pudding smiled.

"Uh, Pudding, you're talking about "waxing" the car. Reading history and waxing a car are two entire different things." Mint rolled her eyes.

"The blue Mew is indeed correct, yellow Mew." Pai said, still in his emotionless voice. "Reading history doesn't make things shiny. It edifies you, prepares you for destiny."

"Huh?" Pudding blinked.

"Pai, did you know that every time your mouth moves, strange sounds come out?" Taruto asked.

Pai frowned as he glared at the little brown haired alien. "Hmph. You people have NO appreciation for history!"

"Sure we do, Pai!" Kish smiled... then paused. "What are we discussing?"

Pai clenched his teeth as he turned to the Mews. "Do you Mew Mews happen to have a music device somewhere?"

"I got this." Zakuro said, pulling an Ipod out and throwing it to Pai.

Pai nodded as he flipped through some music. "Everybody, please pay attention. I'll explain this in a way so that EVEN you can understand."

The Mews blinked as Pai suddenly teleported, then came back wearing a teacher's cap, holding a stick and having the Ipod floating next to him as it started playing. The Mew Mews blinked in confusion as they decided to sit down. Kish and Taruto just rolled their eyes as they both yawned.

(**Pai**)

**Through meticulous analysis of history**

**I will find a way to make the people worship me.**

**By studying the conquerors of days gone by,**

**I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry.**

(**Kish**)

**So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try!**_  
_

Pai frowned as the Mew Mews snickered a bit at Kish's rhyme.

(**Pai**)

**By studying the past so carefully,**

**I won't repeat the same mistakes of history.**

(**Taruto**)

**You'll never make another mistake, you see,**

**'cause you'll fall asleep from reading all that history!**

Kish chuckled at the little riff by Taruto as Pai glared at his fellow aliens. "Very funny. Now pay attention!"

Pai then flipped over a book to show a young woman named Cleopatra.

(**Pai**)

**When Cleopatra reigned as Queen,**

**With Roman leaders she was often seen.**

**But when she had no ruling friend,**

**She found a poison snake to bite her in the end.**

Zakuro gulped as she did a little riff.

(**Zakuro**)

**A bite down there I really wouldn't recommend!**

Pai shook his head as he pulled out a plan.

(**Pai**)

**I won't need world alliances,**

**When I'm commanding everyone's appliances.**

(**Kish**)

**Oh no Pai, that would really smart,**

**To be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart.**

Pai glared at Kish as he flipped the book pages.

(**Pai**)

**Hannibal, our book confirms,**

**Tried conquering Italy with pachyderms.**

**Just why he failed, nobody tells,**

**But he never could get past the Roman sentinels.**

Mint rolled her eyes as she did a little riff herself.

(**Mint**)

**And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells!**_  
_

Pai sighed as he made a TV materialize as he turned it on to see Pai's creepy smile.

(**Pai**)

**An elephant is not required,**

**If I can use the media to be admired.**

Lettuce smiled a bit as she did a little riff.

(**Lettuce**)

**The TV viewers you'll delight,**

**Unless the network puts your show on Sunday night!**

All of a sudden, the screen changed to a caption of Sixty Minutes. Pai glared as he moved on to a map of Attila the Hun's leads.

(**Pai**)

**Attila was a mighty Hun,**

**He ransacked Asia Minor just for fun.**

**But when he got to Europe's banks,**

**He was routed by an army of heroic Franks.**

Pudding, having seemingly purchased a hot dog, smiled as she riffed.

(**Pudding**)

**I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks!**

Pai, ignoring Pudding, pulled out a screen and a projector as he flipped slides, each with pictures of Pai holding signs saying, "You see, you're under my control", "I forced you to stop your cursor at this point", and one of Kish holding a sign saying "Support Kishigo!"

(**Pai**)

**Why pillage like a criminal,**

**When I can send out messages subliminal.**

(**Pudding**)

**Please send a message to that Hun,**

**To see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun!**

The Mew Mews laughed as Kish and Taruto joined them. Pai just glared as he flipped to more pages of the book.

(**Pai**)

**Caligula was no boy scout,**

**He did things that we can't even talk about.**

**The Romans knew he was crazy man,**

**When he filled a vacant Senate seat with Tarzan.**

Taruto glared as he riffed to Pai.

(**Taruto**)

**What's wrong with being friendly with a monkey person?**

"Ha ha!" Ichigo pointed as Taruto covered his mouth. Pudding smiled in delight as Pai continued on, holding an hypnotic wheel.

(**Pai**)

**Why rule like such a reprobate,**

**When I can put the world in a hypnotic state?**

(**Kish**)

**When everybody's in a trance,**

**You can make the people do a chicken dance!**

As Kish started to do a little chicken dance, Pai frowned as he glared at Kish.

Ichigo frowned as she said, "Oh come on, guys, can I have a turn?"

"Sure! Knock yourself out!" The girls, Tart and Kish smiled as Pai glared. Nevertheless, Pai continued on as he flipped the pages.

(**Pai**)

**In France, Napoleon Bonaparte,**

**Thought beating Austria was very smart.**

**But when he took on England too,**

**He was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo.**

(**Ichigo**)

**And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo!**_  
_

Pai glared as his fellow aliens and Mew Mews as they giggled. Pai shook his head as he pulled out plans involving a big magnet and the moon.

**Why conquer with depravity,**

**I'll win the world by undermining gravity.**

(**Kish**)

**And even if your plan falls through,**

**Maybe they will name a pastry after you!**_  
_

Pai was so tempted just to punch Kish and the others, but shook his head as he continued on his last verse.

(**Pai**)

**From Ghengis Khan to Charlemagne,**

**From Alexander down to Tamburlaine.**

**I find a ruler's tragic flaw,**

**And gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas.**

(**Kish**)

**Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas!**_  
_

(**Pai**)

**That concludes my little rhyme,**

**I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time.**

The Mew Mews, Kish, and Taruto just smirked as they all sang.

(**Ichigo, Mint, Lettuce, Zakuro, Pudding, Kish and Taruto**)

**Well Pai, we've learned that one thing's true,**

**Every one of them has failed, and so have you!**

Pai glared as he turned to his fellow aliens. "Thank you for that vote of confidence. And you call yourselves aliens!"

Pai then turned to the Mew Mews. "And true, every plan of mine has failed, but you just wait. By Deep Blue, we will manage to overtake this planet!"

"Oh whatever!" Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Come on, Mew Mews, let's get back to the Cafe. Ryou is probably wondering what's keeping us."

With that, Ichigo and her friends left, though Lettuce, the only one who was interested in Pai's lessons in history (not so much Pai's suggestions for ruling the world), looked back with an apolegetic look on her face. Pai noticed it, made it soften a bit. But Pai quickly gained composure as he turned to his fellow aliens. "Well, come on, you two. We're going to need to go back to our dimension to prepare for tomorrow."

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" Kish rolled his eyes. "Sing a song about the world's cheeses?"

"No." Pai frowned. "We shall try to take over the world..."

(**Pai**)

**Through meticulous analysis of history!**

As soon as Kish and Pai teleported, Taruto paused as he noticed Zakuro's Ipod was left behind. Taruto blinked as he took it, and looked at it. "How did Pai work this thing?"

Taruto shrugged as he teleported, Ipod in hand.

* * *

And how did you like this little one-shot parody? Hopefully, all of you Pai fans out there loved it, or some Pinky and the Brain fans! Anyway, thanks for reading, have a great day!


End file.
